


House Mouse Spouse

by Anonymous



Category: Half-Life
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Borrowers AU, Fluff, G/T, Humor, M/M, don't look at me, dont correct me if i get borrowers lore incorrect im just here to make mouse jokes, technically a roommates fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:49:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28765095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Gordon and Benrey live together. The problem? Benrey doesn't know he's there, and neither of them are human.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 49
Kudos: 176
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Meet Cute

Gordon wasn’t stupid.

Okay, yes, sure. Had he made some mistakes in his life? Yes, of course. He was a person, that happens. He’d had a good life, all things considering. He had his health. He had a warm little hideaway tucked in the wall behind the apartment’s cabinets filled with tons of cool stuff. He had enough nonperishable food to last him weeks, if he ever needed it. He had a roommate that was completely unaware that there was a borrower living in his walls and helping himself to his crumbs. Benrey, in a lot of ways, would be the perfect bean to live with.

But Benrey, despite first impressions, was not a human being. Humans don’t sing colorful bubbles that dissolve before Gordon can get a good look at them. Humans don’t eat  _ through  _ a can to eat the beans inside. Humans don’t have glowing eyes. Gordon isn’t stupid, and Benrey isnt’t subtle. 

But he knew how good he had it. Benrey was almost perfect to borrow from. He was messy. He left half finished meals and unscrubbed dishes in most rooms of his apartment. He was easily distracted by video games at high volume. He didn’t seem to have a good sense of hearing, or maybe he was just genuinely oblivious. Once, Gordon knocked a whole plate to the ground and shattered it while the man was home gaming, and Benrey hadn’t even noticed until he stepped in the shards  _ two days later.  _ He was punctual. His job took up most of his time, and his hangouts with friends after work were normally somewhere other than his apartment, giving Gordon free range of the place.

Gordon wasn’t an idiot. He’d been through a lot of different beans as a solitary borrower, and Benrey was a catch. Yeah, he was loud and weird and definitely kind of an enigma, but he was consistent. 

Sometimes, Gordon would find a chewed open soda can in the trash and feel a chill run down his spine. Yeah, he was good to live with, but if he could bite through a metal can, what could he do to a borrower? A human being was bad enough, the stuff of nightmares and scary stories, and they couldn’t do  _ that. _

Gordon would just have to be smart about it. Be so careful that the monster he’s living with will never suspect anything.

Easy.

* * *

Benrey’s new digs kinda smell weird. Not bad weird. It smelled weird in the same way that Dr. Coomer’s place smells weird. Smells like him. Smells like a person lives there. Benrey had assumed when he first moved out of the Black Mesa dorms to this apartment that the smell was from the previous tenant, but it remained. It’d been over a year now, and it still smelled off. Smelled like Benrey too, but that other scent lingered. 

It was almost nice. Fun apartment smell, different than work smell. Homey.

Benrey stood in his messy kitchen and sniffed. Smelled strong today. He had come into the kitchen to get an after-work-before-games-with-the-boys snack, but he had gotten distracted. He hadn’t even changed out of his work clothes, but his slacks and button up were a bit wrinkled now.

He lifted an arm and sniffed his pits. Gross. Smelly. 

He blinked at the kitchen blankly. What was he doing again? Snacks?

A tiny, almost imperceptible, motion made him snap to full alertness. There was a shape in the shadows under the cabinets. Benrey’s pupils widened as he stared. There was a sudden flick of movement as whatever it was tried to scuttle out of sight. Benrey shifted instinctually as he lunged towards it in one swift motion. His hands grew into long thin claws and his teeth became sharper. He pounced with both hands, hooking the thing with his terrifying and very cool claws.

The thing shrieked and scrambled as his claws caught in something soft. He pulled it gently into the light. It was a tiny little person. (Or maybe a mouse? Mouse person?) Not for eating, then. Shame. It curled away from his claws and shuddered in fear. It was shaped like a palm sized person in an oversized brown sweater that his claws had hooked onto. Tiny ears were pinned firmly down to its skull, and a tail was tucked between its legs. Besides the initial scream, its too quick breathing was the only sound it was making. He tried to pull away, but something was catching. He crouched on the ground and tried desperately to dislodge his claws. 

“w. uh.” He was stuck. Why was he stuck, he didn’t like this, he wanted his hands back, thank you. Benrey’s claws were worrying more holes into the brown fabric, but he was making no progress at freeing himself. “uh?” 

Something seemed to kickstart in the little man. Suddenly snapping to life, he kicked out with one teeny tiny foot at Benrey’s hands. “Let  _ go  _ of me!” he yelled, extremely loud for an action figure. Deluxe model. Detachable parts. Focus, Benrey. 

“i’m trying,” Benrey said earnestly. He dropped completely prone on his kitchen floor to focus on detangling himself from the sweater. He was trying very hard not to keep his hands steady and not jostle the man, but he was starting to panic like a cat with its claws caught in a blanket. “i’m- you’re grabbing me. let go, please? thank you?”

The little man stopped kicking. He let out a hysterical bark of laughter. “You grabbed me! Just let go!”

“stuck,” explained Benrey miserably. “let me go, please? hands?”

The little man uncurled and twisted to look over his shoulder. With inhuman flexibility, he twisted so he could see his own lower back. He grabbed the closest claw with both hands. “Stop moving! You’re- you’re gonna make it worse. Stop.”

Benrey flicked his hands back again. “helping,” he argued. His heart wasn’t in it. He stilled his hands and laid his cheek on the cold linoleum floor. This was the worst. No one had ever suffered as much as him, right now. He kept one eye open to stare at the little man.

The mouse man was shaking with fear, and he wasn’t making eye contact. With trembling hands (paws? hands), he tugged at his own sweater. He tried to not touch Benrey’s claws, but he wasn’t making any progress that Benrey could see.

“velcro. sticky man.” Benrey watched the little man. His face was pale and distressed, but he was kinda cute. Big oversized sweater, tiny pants, an itty bitty messy ponytail… He even had little mousy paws for feet. Probably had cute little toe beans. Adorable. His fluffy little tail was starting to come untucked from between his legs. Benrey watched as it started to lash back and forth.

“Stop  _ moving! _ You’re messing me up.” The mouse dude was getting mad. Whoops.

Benrey held his claws stock still and braced his wrists on the ground. Statue man. Living statue. “i’m not moving. you’re the one moving. probably trying to- trying to mess me up, huh? get me in trouble for pouncing crimes.” Not supposed to pounce on people. Not supposed to chomp em. Rules are rules are rules.

“You-!” 

“you’re not supposed to be here.” 

The little man froze. Statue buddies time. Bonding experience. Nice. 

“you got, uh. i wanna see your eye dee. gonna need some identification.” He clicked his tongue. “need to see it. please?”

The little man shuddered. Full body. The tail tucked back between his legs. Bye. “Let go of me and I’ll leave. You’ll never have to see me again. Please.” Oh, was he gonna cry? Weird. He was starting to tear up and go all red in the face. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

“what? no. don’t go? why are you going?” Benrey sang a note of calm-down up into the air. A single bubble of blue floated up and away.

The mouse man was staring at the blue with unbridled curiosity. It didn’t even hit him but he wasn’t panicking anymore. 10/10. “...What the fuck.” 

“calm down? don’t go. we’re buddies. we gotta hang out. play modern warfare. zombies mode.” Benrey’s voice was starting to get all whiny and pleading. Embarrassing. 

The mouse man shivered. “Don’t look at me like that. You’re the one who got stuck.” His ears flicked backwards. His voice was authoritative. Bossy, even. “Be quiet and let me fix this.”

The man set into untangling his sweater from around Benrey’s claws. He worked quickly, quickly freeing a few claws on Benrey’s right hand. He was still shaking and scared, but he was clearly getting very distracted by the puzzle in front of him. He had a very determined look on his face. Reminded Benrey of a scientist or a test subject. 

Benrey’s one open eye dilated and focused on the man. He didn’t meet new people very often, let alone mouse people. Maybe they could play games together? Be cool guy friends? Pocket friend for mobile gaming. PSP buddy.

“mice got names?”

The man jumped. Ha. Must have been lost in thought while he worked. Probably thinking about how cool Benrey’s claws were. Making good progress. “What? I’m not a mouse.”

“they call you mister mouse. everybody talking about it. all the time.”

He started to laugh, but cut himself off. “What? No they don’t.”

Laughing was good, sounded better. “you can laugh, man. i’m funny. please laugh at my funny jokes. give me one big haha and your name, thanks.”

The mouse man groaned. “You’re not gonna stop, are you? It’s Gordon. Gordon Freeman.”

“continue.” 

“What?” Gordon finally unhooked the final claw on his right hand. Benrey pulled it back and set his head on top of it. Gordon set into untangling the claws on his left. “I’m not gonna laugh on command.”

“why not?” 

“Because I’m not a pet, dude! I’m not a trained dog.” Gordon was seemingly completely over his hesitation to touch Benrey. Desensitized. He tapped the bottom of his index claw finger with one of his tiny warm hands. “Lift.”

Benrey lifted his finger slightly. “woof woof. lil dog boy man scurrying around, yapping at my heels.”

“You’re the pet!” Gordon wagged his finger at him. He was going red in the face again, but it was softer. Less intense. Blushy man, ha. “Jumping on me like a cat! What is  _ wrong  _ with you?”

Benrey straightened his head and opened both eyes fully. He was completely focused on the man in front of him. Big pupils, big man. “am i a pretty kitty? think i’m, uh. sorft?” 

Gordon bared his little teeth. Brave mouse now. “Fuck off, Benrey.”

Benrey showed his teeth in a smile. Sharp and pointy in pounce mode still. Very cool. Premium teeth. DLC content for hunting. Gordon didn’t seem overly impressed, so he closed his mouth and tilted his head again. Cheek on hand and hand on floor. Sandwich. He kicked his legs against the tiles. 

“how come you know my name?”

Gordon hummed noncommittally. “Kinda hard not to know. You’re pretty loud, man.”

“you, uh.” Why was he nervous? Stupid. “you come around here often?”

“I live here, idiot.” Gordon froze again, but then sighed and kept working. “Or, I did. Now I gotta move. People aren’t supposed to know I’m here.”

Benrey curled his freed claws out of the way to give him a little more room to work. “people don’t know. i won’t tell people.”

Gordon groaned. His little ears were flattened to his head.

Benrey zoned out a little. Gordon was really interesting to watch, but his brain was completely checked out. Thinking about Fruit Loops, ha. Thinking about how rats at the lab hold Cheerios like little donuts. Imagining Gordon holding a little Fruit Loop like a fruity business donut.

“Why did you grab me?” Gordon interrupted his daydreaming. Rude. “Since you clearly immediately regretted it.”

Typically, skittering motion at the corner of his eye only meant one thing. “thought you were a bug.”

Gordon laughed quietly with a tinge of hysteria. “What?”

“you know.” Benrey mimed with one hand like he was going to pounce again. Gordon flinched with his whole body. “thought you were a-” He smacked his lips. “-cock a roach.”

“...why would you be hunting a cockroach.” 

Benrey mimed popping something into his mouth. 

Benrey could watch the disgust run from Gordon’s ears to the very tip of his tail in a pronounced shudder. Neat. 

“Don’t eat bugs, dude. That’s nasty.” Gordon unhooked another claw and tapped it. He curled it out of the way, and the mouse man set to the next. Only two left.

“too good to eat the bugs? they call them- bugs are just little burgers. cheeseburgers with legs.”

Gordon stopped detangling to give him a look of baffled dismay. He was smiling a little, though. “They don’t call them that. No one says that.”

Benrey smacked his lips again. “just jealous of all my mad bug eating. me and the homies eating bugs all day everyday.”

Gordon snort-laughed. “Gross, dude!”

Benrey smiled. Laughter was good. This was fun. They should hang out more. 

Gordon quickly detached the last of two claws. His sweater was a mess of holes in the back, but he was unharmed. He smoothed out his clothes with fussy little motions and watched Benrey’s hands anxiously. 

Benrey looked at his freed claws and flexed them. Now that he wasn’t in hunting mode with his prey at his fingertips, he was able to shift them away into human shaped hands. Easy peasy. Gordon looked fascinated even as he was starting to edge back towards the space under the cabinets.

“Could… could you do that the whole time?”

“nah.” 

Gordon shivered. He shifted in place nervously. “You’re not- you’re not human.” 

It wasn’t a question, so Benrey didn’t bother to answer. Just blinked at him sleepily. He should lay on the floor more. This was sweet. 

Seeming to decide something, Gordon took one step closer. His eyes burned with curiosity. “You’re not human. So it's not breaking the rules.”

“i’m a rules follower. i follow all the rules. everyday.” Benrey lay completely motionless.

Gordon twisted his hands together nervously. His tail was lashing again. Agitated. Shaken and fizzing like a dropped Dr. Pepper. His ears kept flicking up to listen and then pinning down again. Benrey reached out with one blunt finger to touch the tip of an ear.

Before he was even close, Gordon jumped back and yelled. “Don’t grab me! Don’t touch me! Back off.”

“mleh meuh meh,” Benrey singsonged. He let his hand drop, though. “you’re all jumpy, even after your buddy benrey hung out with you and kept you company? lame.” 

Gordon snorted out a laugh. “We are not friends.” 

With that, Gordon darted beneath the cabinets and out of sight. Even once Benrey sat up a little to look around, he couldn’t find him. Benrey lay back down on the ground and sighed dramatically. 

Making friends outside of work was tough. 


	2. Thoughtful Jifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for the warm response to this fic! if i think too long about how many authors i respect have left kudos/comments i start to overheat like a shitty laptop

Gordon was going to fucking die.

Currently, he was curled up in his bed and screaming into a pillow. The pillow had started its life as a roughly rectangular piece of upholstery foam sewn inside of a particularly soft bit of fabric he’d nicked years ago. It did a reasonably good job masking the sound of his frustrated yelling. He was still shaking with leftover adrenaline after fleeing from Benrey and climbing all the way up inside the wall to the cozy space behind the drywall. 

Benrey, the faux human monster who  _ saw  _ him. Gordon ducked his head back down and screamed again. Not just saw! No, of course not. That would be too easy for Gordon Freeman. Caught him! With goddamn claws! He thought he was going to have a heart attack. Shit his pants in fear and leave the world’s most embarrassing corpse. 

He grabbed at his ears and whined. Benrey had been a hair away from gutting him and what did he do? Boss him around! Gordon knew he could be- People had called him a control freak before, but he always just thought of himself as particular. Maybe a perfectionist. But on the business end of  _ literally monster talons _ and he had to be, what, in charge? Of his own grisly end?

He survived. That wasn’t nothing. He got caught and lived. And now he had to-

He curled up in his bed and wrapped his arms around his knees. Now he had to leave. It wasn’t safe here, not with a bean knowing that he lived here. Benrey would eventually get curious and find him or set up traps or let it slip to one of his science friends from work and that would be that. Dead or captured. Dissected by mad scientists. 

Gordon stared blankly around his bedroom. The inside of the walls were smoothed and scrubbed clean. He had a couple of sealed dented tupperware filled with nonperishable food tucked up between the vertical beams that formed the skeleton of the wall’s interior. (Were the beams called studs? Or was that something else? Whatever, he wasn’t an architect.) Assorted handmade furniture were tucked here and there. A chunk of hard foam from the packaging of a television that was carved into an armchair. A side table that started off life as a deck box for collectable cards. It was all carefully scavenged, and most of it was too bulky or too big to be taken with him. He was going to miss this place. 

Gordon groaned and pulled at his hair. Was it selfish of him to be sad about his stuff? He was still alive. That had to count for something. He was allowed to preemptively miss his big warm bed. It was winter, and once he’d abandoned this apartment to search for a new home, he’d have to sleep in- in a sock or something. His back hurt just thinking about it. 

He rubbed at his face with his hands. Sometimes, he hated that being a borrower constantly seesawed between toothrottingly twee and genuinely life threatening danger. No middle ground to living underfoot. 

...Maybe he could stay here. Benrey was some sort of (alien? monster?) creature. He must know the importance of keeping shit on the downlow. He should be sympathetic to the fear of getting experimented on by a bunch of scientists. Maybe they could even be friends.

Gordon had been a solitary borrower for too long. Was he really so lonely that he was going to risk his life just to hang out with a guy that had gotten into multiple arguments over PS+ about whether energy drinks counted as a fruit? 

He’d give it a week. Maybe Benrey really could be trusted. If he really wanted to kill him, he’d have done it while he was vulnerable. And if he changed his mind, he’d still have to find him first. He’d just have to be careful. 

* * *

“my new buddy has a lot of rules.”

Tommy, who was in the middle of doing something sciency with a pipette and microscope slides with his labcoat sleeves rolled up, stopped and turned to face Benrey. Despite the non sequitur and the fact that this was the first he had heard of any ‘new buddy,’ he was quick to adapt. 

“What kind of rules?” He scratched down a couple numbers on a clipboard and set the pipette aside.

Benrey huffed and hopped up to sit cross legged on the table. He heard a few papers get crinkled under his ass, but he wasn’t concerned. This was a sitting table now, papers shouldn’t even be here. “he’s like ‘weh weh don’t do that don’t touch that.’ and he’s all bossy about it. grumpy. just trying to be all friendly and he gets all weird.”

“Hmm. Well, maybe you should listen to him? If you want to be friends, you should listen when he asks you to do things. It’s- That’s the polite thing to do!”

Benrey groaned. “i didn’t even do anything wrong!”

Tommy leveled a firm look at him. His eyes were crinkled with good humor.

Benrey squirmed and drummed his fingers on his knees. “he’s fine. he’s- don’t worry about it.”

Tommy smiled at him. “Maybe you could apologize! If you made your- if you’re worried that you made your friend uncomfortable, you could say sorry. You could get him a gift! That would show that you’re looking to make it right with him.”

“it’s pronounced jift.”

“Don’t do this.” Tommy’s voice was suddenly serious. He dropped the pipette and tensed his shoulders.

Benrey brightened up. “Jift? You want me to get him a friend jift?”

Tommy pushed on Benrey’s shoulder firmly until he slid off the edge of the table and onto his feet. Loose papers scattered to the floor in a wave. Tommy briskly grasped Benrey’s shoulder and escorted him to the door. “I don’t have time- They’ve got me busy working in HR again, so I can’t argue about how to pronounce gif today.”

“tomorrow?” asked Benrey as he was shoved out of the lab. The door shut with a sharp click.

* * *

After a couple of nerve wracking but ultimately uneventful days, Gordon figured that Benrey had forgotten about him. The man didn’t search for him. He didn’t set out mouse traps. He didn’t even call his name to see if Gordon would respond. While it was probably good for his blood pressure, it was honestly almost underwhelming. He had been worried about this guy finding and killing him, and Benrey didn’t even have the decency to act like anything had changed. 

Which was… fine. It was safer for Benrey to just forget about him anyway. Based on the sheer amount of times he had said ‘oh, whoops lol’ in response to frantic phone calls in the last year, it wasn’t impossible for his existence to have completely slipped his mind. 

Gordon watched from the bottle graveyard on top of Benrey’s fridge as Benrey came home late. Say what you want about his tastes, but the forest of shitty alcohol was the perfect cover for taking a peek from a reasonably safe vantage point. Most people didn’t look up when they were in their own homes. He really shouldn’t be anywhere near this out in the open, but all the panic of the last few days had made him feel bold.

Benrey strolled into the kitchen in his normal rumpled post-work button up and slacks. What wasn’t normal was the plastic bag in his hand. 

“pspsps.” 

Gordon’s ears pinned back. What an asshole. What was he, a cat? 

He ignored Benrey’s voice as he started to grumble and ramble. Instead, he darted for the wall and slipped behind the drywall. With the help of some carved handholds, carefully placed nails, and glued together popsicle stick ladders, Gordon made his way down the inside of the wall until he was at floor level. Then, he snuck out of a hole behind the fridge. 

Carefully staying out of sight, he crept on all fours beneath the fridge to peer out at whatever Benrey was doing. 

Benrey was crouched on the ground in the kitchen, facing away from him. His bulk was blocking Gordon’s view of whatever it was he had bought, but the plastic bag and assorted packaging was laying forgotten on the ground. Benrey was still talking.

“-gonna be like twilight princess  _ re _ -mastered. spinning through arby’s grounds like no problem. sand dungeon speedrun strats.” He stopped talking for a moment before snapping his fingers. “best friend speedrun tool assisted.”

Benrey shuffled off to the side to appraise his purchase from another angle. With one hand, he gave it an experimental spin. He had a faint smile on his face. 

On the floor was a bright orange plastic exercise wheel approximately the right size for a rat. 

Gordon saw red. Without thinking, he charged out from beneath the fridge. “Are you  _ fucking  _ kidding me? I’m not a rodent!”

Benrey twitched in surprise and fell from his crouch onto his ass. He blinked a few times at the man running towards him with a genuine smile starting to dawn on his face. “oh, hey.”

Gordon’s tail lashed with agitation. He skidded to a stop, just out of reach in the middle of the kitchen. “Why the fuck would you-?”

Benrey’s smile turned mocking. “thought baby mouse man would want, uh. some mouse toys. don’t like your prezzie? too good for spin class?”

Gordon was starting to feel his impulsive anger get swept away by fear and anxiety. Why the fuck had he run out here again? One of these days he was going to learn to think before he acted. He felt so exposed without somewhere to easily hide from view. He stood his ground though. Stood up straight and squared his shoulders. “You’re an asshole.”

Benrey’s eyes crinkled up happily. “you’re welcome, buddy. uh.” His face fell back into his typical bland expression. “it’s an apology gift. for scaring you. making you cry like an idiot baby.”

Gordon didn’t know how to even start to unpack all that. He was sorry? Was this a joke, or was Benrey being genuine? Talking with Benrey felt way more and somehow way less intense when it was on his terms. His eyes darted to the translucent orange plastic wheel and then back to Benrey. “I’m not a hamster. But thanks, I guess. It’s the thought that counts.”

Benrey smiled again. “so do you want to test it out or…?”

Gordon snorted. He darted back under the fridge, throwing a “fuck off!” over his shoulder. Benrey didn't try to grab him as he made his escape. He could hear teasing babytalk from him as he disappeared from sight. Gordon laughed under his breath, just loud enough to be heard. 

‘Buddy.’ He’d called him buddy. Fuck it, why not.

* * *

Gordon had a lot of weird paths in and out of the walls. Places where the baseboard was conveniently loose. Under furniture and inside closets and footholds in the drywall. Dozens of well worn trails that could take him anywhere in the apartment. Some were used constantly, like the short climb from his bedroom to the hole behind the fridge. A short climb up the narrow crevice between the fridge and the counter and bam. Benrey left tons of dirty dishes in the sink and stored a ton of chips and snacks right there.

Other paths were less useful. Either they were just circuitous and meandering or led somewhere he didn’t want to go, like the hallway outside the apartment. The path Gordon was jogging down now was one of those. His paws left sharp little footprints in the fine dust inside the wall. Before long, he could see a dim light at the end of this path.

Gordon stuck his head out of the crack in the wall. A window stretched up to his right. The cheap blinds were pulled closed, but soft moonlight streamed between them, lighting everything in the bedroom up gently. He stepped out on the sill with great care. This close to the glass, it was bitterly cold. That was part of the reason why he never came here.

The other reason was sleeping just a foot away. 

Benrey’s bed was pushed right up next to the only window. The man himself was snoozing, curled on his side facing the glass. He was cuddled up with a body pillow sans case and drooling like a faucet. 

If he woke, Benrey would be looking right at him. Gordon’s tail twitched just once before he could get a grip on his anxiety. 

From this angle, he looked softer. Curled on his side and slumbering in a mess of sheets and pillows. Completely unaware. The weird bland tension in his face was smoothed out. His hair was a fluffy mess. Calm and still.

Gordon had always been vaguely fascinated by humans. Not as people, but more like how a zookeeper felt fond of a tiger. Interesting to observe at a distance, and if you knew what you were doing you could get remarkably close, but if it ever caught you, you’d be dead. Gordon’s ears perked up to listen as Benrey let out a wordless grumble. He was dreaming.

He should be dead. Full stop. Beyond the enigmatic nature of whatever the fuck was going on with Benrey in specific, beans don’t let borrowers go. They trap, dissect, and murder them. Everyone knew that. Everyone knew someone who knew someone who got stepped on, or maimed in a rat trap, or poisoned. 

But he wasn’t. He was alive, and Benrey had looked right at him and smiled. Apologized for scaring him, even. Gordon wasn’t the most popular person, but this guy had gone out of his way to try to make it up to him. In the stupidest way possible, of course, but that seemed like a Benrey problem more than a Gordon problem. 

Gordon crept towards the edge of the windowsill. Just a few steps and he’d be on the bed. A few more and he’d be right on top of Benrey. He twisted his hands together fretfully. Why was he even here? He should be sleeping. Or even exploring for supplies. He was running low on thread, and if he wanted to repair his brown sweater he’d need to pinch a good bit. 

Instead, he stared at the sleeping man. Benrey’s teeth looked normal behind his soft lips. His fingers gripping the pillow were blunt with short nails. Under his chin were patches of rough stubble he’d missed shaving.

He looked  _ normal. _ Big, of course. Muscular. The tiger analogy still fit, but this didn’t feel like studying an animal. The scientific curiosity was still there, obviously, but. It was hard to distance himself when he’d talked to the guy. People watching? Gordon had never done it before, but maybe this was the appeal. Most people didn’t do it while people were sleeping (probably), but most people wouldn’t be in mortal peril if they were seen.

Gordon studied Benrey’s sleeping face until the chill from the window grew too much. With just a few steps, he slipped through the crack and back into the wall. 


	3. Intricate Rituals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops all benrey pov. sorry/youre welcome for party rocking

“are you making mice?”

Bubby jumped half a foot at Benrey’s sudden appearance, which was incredible considering the amount of liquid he was encased in. A handful of wires and tubes held Bubby loosely in the center of his tube. Benrey watched his nostrils flare as he turned to face him. There was no one else in the room, so Benrey took the liberty of sitting on some keyboards across from the tube.

“Don’t you have someone else to bother? I’m busy.” Bubby gestured at himself floating motionlessly in his tube. “Clearly.”

“don’t got anywhere to go til…” Benrey looked at his bare wrist as if he had a watch. “tomorrow. i’m guarding you. making sure you don’t drink all of the, uh, goop, before anyone else can sippy.”

Bubby groaned melodramatically. Benrey smiled at him genuinely. They were Good Friends. 

“Why do you want to know about mice?”

“trying to figure out if one of your lab meeces got out. running loose. lil baby rats trying to get their revengence on science.” 

“Go ask Tommy. I’m not allowed in Biological Research anymore. You lead an armed rebellion of your own prototypes two or three times, and everybody freaks out. Idiots.”

Benrey nodded sympathetically. 

“Benrey, if you found an escaped test subject, what should you do?” Bubby’s tone was cautiously wheedling. 

He hummed and spit out a few orbs of Sweet Voice. Apricot means he has a thought. “Follow them?”

Bubby snorted. It was weirdly muffled yet resonant in the goo. “If any lab rats got out, good for them. But be careful. I heard someone invented something that gave a mouse a gun hand.”

Benrey crossed his heart. Bubby rolled his eyes. “I promise I won’t get shot by a mouse.” He paused and tilted his head from side to side thoughtfully. “I promise to tell you if I get shot by a mouse.”

Bubby laughed.

* * *

Benrey was really enjoying this roommate business. 

When he had lived at Black Mesa’s dorms and shared a room with another security officer, they were hardly friends. The other man avoided him as much as possible, didn’t laugh at his jokes, and would freak out if Benrey so much as sung a single note. And that was fine. Not everyone was prepared to deal with such a cool guy 24/7. 

Also, he said Madden 06 was the best Madden, so fuck that guy. 

Gordon, though. Gordon was different. Whole different ball game. After his thoughtful and well appreciated gift (that Gordon didn’t actually touch or play with), Gordon started popping up more and more. That first week after the wheel, Gordon would just be a flash in the corner of his eye. The tip of a furry tail disappearing under a door, a shadow beneath his beat up side of the road couch, a blurry distorted figure behind a 2-liter of Mountain Dew. Benrey figured that it must have been intentional, considering he never saw any mouse man evidence before meeting Gordon.

Intentional. That was the word. The little dude was careful. 

It felt like a test. So, Benrey just watched. Patiently. 

Slowly, Gordon showed himself more. Darted across the countertop in full view. Grabbing chips from an open bag the second Benrey turned to find a chip clip. Jogging across the thin carpet right in front of him while he was gaming. 

They started talking more, too. Hellos when Benrey returned from work, goodbyes when he left. Brief back and forths about anything notable in their respective days. Stupid arguments that made Gordon red and Benrey laugh and then Gordon laugh. 

Gordon got red in the face a lot, either from anger or breathless laughter, but he stopped going pale from fear. He stopped jumping when Benrey stood up too fast or looked at him too sharp. Relaxed more. 

It was nice. Soft. Benrey was slightly embarrassed by how much he liked seeing the other man. He was self sufficient, sure, but there was something nice about the idea of sharing food. Gordon never ate in front of him, presumably carting off his scavenged snacks into whatever mouse lair he had hidden away, but the thought was cool. And his little hesitant greetings becoming louder and more genuinely friendly every day was charming.

Having a roommate was very excellent.

* * *

Benrey was watching something stupid and loud. He was tired, and the sounds of whatever autoplayed video the algorithm had brought him were all starting to blur together. The half full bowl of popcorn in his lap was starting to cool. He was so out of it, that he didn’t even notice Gordon for a moment. 

“Dude!” Gordon was standing at the base of the couch with his hands on his hips. He looked indignant. 

“wh.” Benrey blinked. When had he gotten here?

“Turn that shit down. It’s hurting my ears, and you’re not even watching it.” 

Benrey snatched the remote with one buttery hand. “your fault for having radar dish ears. not my business.” He obliged and turned the sound on the television down. 

Gordon snorted. “Sure.” He hesitated, twisting his hands together. He looked like he wanted to ask something. His little tail was twitching at the tip. 

Benrey took his chance. He patted the couch cushion beside him. “up? want up? watch a little movie with your pal, benrey?”

Gordon didn’t laugh him off. Instead, his posture straightened out and his face got intense. Serious mouse.

“Fuck it. Sure. Make room, I’m a big guy.”

Benrey was so caught up in the pre-joke planning euphoria of responding to  _ that  _ that he hardly paid attention as Gordon scaled up the side of the couch. The mouse man scrambled neatly to the armrest and sat carefully. He was faced sideways towards Benrey instead of forward at the tv and his tail was twitching something fierce, but other than that he was completely at ease.

“big guy?” Benrey teased, showing all of his teeth in a menacing smile and leaned in closer. “big guy over here? big man on campus? cuz you’re looking bite sized to me.” Kinda looked like a snack. Benrey kept that joke to himself.

Gordon put up his hands and made a useless shoving motion in the air between them. He didn’t look traumatized or terrified though, skipping immediately to bossy. “Back up. No eating me.” 

“aw.” 

He snorted. “Bastard.”

“mleh.” 

Gordon shook his head wryly. “Shut up, dude. Listen. We gotta- Let’s set some ground rules. I wanna hang out with you more, but I don’t want to be afraid that you’re gonna kill me or something.”

Benrey drummed his fingers against his thigh. “i get rules too. don’t want you, uh, running up my pant leg and biting me in the dick.”

Gordon snort laughed. “Sure, fine.”

“whoa, wait. agreed to that a little too quick. are you sure you want to take dick biting completely off the table?” Benrey’s voice wobbled around embarrassingly. What was his problem? Get it together.

“Yeah, I’m positive. You can sleep at night, safe with your dick unbitten. Speaking of which…”

Benrey perked up.

“I’ll stay out of your room while you’re sleeping. And the bathroom while you’re in there. Give you your privacy, you know?”

Benrey blinked owlishly. A mischievous smile was twisting his mouth. “why would you want to watch me sleep? bro?”

Gordon flushed. “Why would I run up your pant leg and-! Fuck, whatever, this is all just hypothetical. For our peace of mind. Setting boundaries and all that.”

“sure. just admit you were thinking about it? first thing you bring up, bro, pretty incriminating.”

“Shut up.”

Benrey crowed out a triumphant laugh. “bro!” 

Gordon grabbed his ears and tugged them like someone pulling on their own pigtails. “Shut up!”

“haha bro admit ittttttt.”

Gordon groaned. “I won’t. Next boundary- Next thing is no grabbing me.”

Benrey winked. “avoiding the question. pretty sur-spcious. gonna have to detain you for questioning.” He paused and considered. “what if you wanna be grabbed? what if you want a lift to- don’t want to climb and want to take Freight Elevator Benrey?” Benrey Express Train. Something, something, caboose? Joke about his huge wagon? Might need to workshop that one. There’s only so many times he could joke about his fat ass before he's just bragging.

“What?” Gordon tilted his head adorably. His ears pricked up in interest. “Oh. Huh. I mean I guess if I ask? But you have to be careful, man. You can’t drop me, or, fuck, squeeze me. Crushed by giants is, like, the worst way to go.” He was starting to turn an interesting shade of green.

“i won’t kill you.” Benrey spoke quickly, trying to bulldoze over the weird feelings that rose up in his gut. Too much popcorn, maybe. “careful as hell. be like being scooped up by a cloud. lakitu.”

“Lakitu,” Gordon agreed firmly. There was no way he knew what a lakitu was, but it was endearing to hear him say it. 

“i want… uh.” Benrey scrambled for something to say to stop Gordon from looking at him like that. “i want- you can’t rat-tat-tooie me.”

Gordon pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. “I promise not to ratatouille you. Anything else?”

“mmmmm... nope. you got anything else?” 

Gordon looked vaguely uncomfortable. “I can’t think of anything else right now.”

“sick.” Benrey fished out a single piece of popcorn and held it out. “pop? you want some pop?”

Gordon took it delicately with both hands. He bit into it slowly, just getting a pinch of fluff instead of the whole piece at once. His face was conflicted as he chewed. 

“...This feels like cheating. Eating warm food. Not used to having shit be just handed to me.” His ears flattened. “Don’t know if I like it.”

Benrey clicked his tongue. “too good to get treats from your good pal? isn’t that- don’t you eat my food all the time?”

Gordon shook his head and gripped his kernel tightly. “Yeah, but I have to go get it, you know? I don’t like feeling dependent on someone else’s charity. Makes me feel like it’ll get torn away at any moment and I’ll end up in a worse position than when I started.”

Benrey grabbed a handful of popcorn for himself. Hummed thoughtfully. “sounds like you didn’t get hugged enough as a kid.”

Gordon threw his half knawed kernel at Benrey’s face, which bounced off and was lost to the couch forever. “Fuck you.” 

Benrey held out his handful of popcorn. Gordon took a fresh piece. The rest got shoveled into Benrey’s maw. He held eye contact as he swallowed without chewing. Very impressive. Cool and tough Benrey not even hurt by all the sharp bits cutting up his throat so bad.

Gordon didn’t notice the blatant flirting, somehow. His gaze was locked on his new kernel. “Sorry. Just got a lot on my mind. About all this. It’s all new to me, too, you know?”

Benrey nodded thoughtfully. He was not following at all. New topic. Benrey topic time. “how come you know about rat-tat-tooie? and other stuff? they got wifi in mouse town?”

Gordon laughed. “Oh, that’s a funny story, actually. Most of us don’t really know much about you guys. But I’ve been surfing the internet since I was a kid.” He chuckled good naturedly. “I’m the cause of more than one human buying a new charging cable for their phone because it ‘just stopped charging as well overnight.’ Anything that needed audio I’m not as familiar with, since I didn’t want to wake anyone up and get killed, but I’m actually well liked in some internet circles. Got some Reddit karma. They don’t know I’m, you know, but that’s half the fun of it.”

Benrey hummed. “lying is a crime.”

“Yeah, yeah. Big talk coming from you. You should- We have nonhuman solidarity, dude. Speaking of… What’s up with-?” Gordon curved and tensed his hands to imply claws and bared his teeth. 

Benrey shrugged. “dope powerset. like the sweet voice. don’t do the big stuff a lot because i don’t have a ton of, uh. excess mana.” He seesawed his hand in the air. “can’t be throwing out my ult all the time for no reason.” 

The mouse man nodded. “I guess that makes about as much sense as everything else you do.” He leaned forwards towards Benrey. Kept leaning forwards until he was almost creeping down the armrest towards Benrey with his intense little eyes all focused and sharp. Ears pricked and face all cute and-

“h?”

“I never noticed, but you’ve got, like, a shadow over the top of your face? Like over your eyes. Is that a powers thing, too?” He was too close. Disrupting his thoughts. All static in the mini map. Map hack. 

“w.” 

Gordon snorted and scooted even closer. Benrey could see details on the other man he’d never seen before. Laugh lines. A handful of graying strands in his ponytail. Focus, focus. “It’s kinda cool, man. Where’s the shadow even being cast from? Is it like a real shadow or is it like some magic bullshit?” He tilted his head and it made his goddamn little ponytail flip to the side.

Benrey was starting to sweat. “wh.” 

“Why are you staring at me? Do I have something…?” He reached up and rubbed at his cheek. “Do I have butter on my face?”

“what’s with the. where does-” Benrey groaned and leaned his face into the armrest. Think of anything, idiot. “where does the ear fur end and the ponytail hair start.” There. Fuck.

Benrey looked up at the sound of Gordon laughing. Gordon was just a few inches away with his warm eyes crinkled with good humor. Benrey looked away to briefly consider the low volume nonsense on the television. Hell on earth. Scrambled egg brain.

When he looked back, Gordon was sitting cross legged facing him again and undoing his little ponytail holder, setting the bit of twist tie (?) to the side. Carefully, he parted his hair with both hands and tilted the top of his head towards Benrey. Benrey leaned in to take a closer look, loaming over the armrest. The human style mess brown hair was pulled away from the mouse ears to show the soft short fur on the ears and how it switched smoothly into the long humany strands. Everything was the same warm brown. It all looked so soft. Benrey’s hands twitched in his lap.  _ So  _ soft. 

“See? It’s all hair, it's just short on the ears and long on the scalp.” He shifted slightly. “Can you see it?”

Benrey couldn’t stop his stupid fucking mouth. “is it all- is the hair-” He groaned and reached up one hand to his own face, squishing his cheeks in both punishment and an attempt at a tension defusing joke. “is it all soft.” Good. Stop there. “it looks super soft, bro.” Okay, embarrassing. “can-?”  _ Stop. _

Gordon released his grip on his own hair and set his hands in his lap. They twitched as he fidgeted with the twist tie. Benrey held his breath.

With a jerky stiffness, Gordon scooted to face away from Benrey. He pointed his face towards the television and pretended to watch the staticy spelunking vlog that had started playing while they were engrossed in their conversation. Gordon fluffed his hair out with both hands before messily raking through it with stiff fingers. Then the hands went back to his lap.

“Okay.” 

“huh?” Benrey’s brain chugged for a few awkward seconds. “oh! free pets? pets for funny benny?”

Gordon groaned, but the lines of his shoulders untensed slightly. “Don’t be weird, dude.”

He wiped his buttery hand clean on his sweatpants. Benrey reached forwards with one slow hand and gently stroked the top of Gordon’s head. Soft like a bunny. Excel-fucking-lent. “i’m normal as fuck, bro. real bros let me play with their hair all the time. people be lining up at work to get the good head scritches during their breaks.”

Gordon snorted and leaned back a little. His tail curled contentedly into his lap. “You’re such a liar. We gonna watch something or what?”

“or what,” said Benrey, reaching for the controller with the hand that wasn’t softly smoothing down Gordon’s mussed hair. “you like homeward bound 2?”


	4. Trust Exercises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank yall so much for the all the love for this fic. i really can't express how genuinely wonderful it is to know people are picking up what im putting down

Benrey was having an excellent night. Homeward Bound 2 was still good. Gordon was stretched out on his belly on the armrest, resting his little head on his crossed arms. He seemed rather relaxed, but his tail kept thwapping against Benrey’s wrist as he pet his head. Benrey was really trying not to push his luck and touch the tail, but he wasn’t going to stop playing with his hair. He wasn’t that selfless.

He _was_ gentlemanly enough to not stare at his little paw feet. Or his toe beans. 

Too soon, the movie drew to a close and the credits started to scroll. Gordon reached back with one hand to gently push his hand away. Benrey moved his hand off the armrest to give him some space. The mouse man sat up and stretched. It was a good one, with tail arching and back popping and dad groaning. Benrey watched intently. Not missing out on a second of this shit.

“Thanks, man. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten to see a movie all the way through this close to the screen.”

“uh huh,” he responded intelligently. Brain lag. 

Gordon twisted around and smiled genuinely. “I really mean it. This was nice.”

“nice. wanna kiss?” Benrey spoke without thinking and forgot to make it a joke. Fuck. 

Gordon laughed (?) and flipped him off. “Fuck off, dude.”

With that, Gordon climbed down the couch and disappeared somewhere, leaving Benrey flushed in the glow of the television. 

* * *

Gordon was a bit of an idiot. 

He was well over not only the letter of the law, but also the spirit. He was well beyond explainable loopholes and slight bends to the rules and into just absolute insanity. Somehow the fresh food being handed to him willingly was fucking him up more than the hair petting. Perhaps because ‘borrow’ was in the name of his species. Borrowers borrow, they don’t get first pick at anything they want. The buttery, salted goodness of fresh popcorn, in front of a movie even, sat heavy in his gut for hours afterwards. Not like the hair touching. That was nice as hell. Perhaps the hair petting seemed more permissible because-

Because maybe it had been a few years since the last time someone cared enough to play with his hair and tap on his back to pull his attention and bark out inappropriate laughter at the cheesy talking animal movie he wanted to show him for some reason.

It was nice. He was allowed to have nice things. Probably.

And the problem was- Well. Gordon wasn’t _unlikeable._ People liked him well enough. He had had a nice family, some childhood friends, a handful of short lived girlfriends… It wasn’t as if he had never had friends before. That didn’t change the fact that no one had come along with him when he moved away from his parents. He was 27 now, and he wasn’t a fresh faced young adult looking to find their own place in the world anymore. He was well into the age range when he had hoped to maybe start a family of his own or a small group of friends to look out for one another or even just a small loose community.

Instead, he had himself. He was self sufficient, but, god, maybe he could stand to have a friend.

The fact that his friend was Benrey… That was good, too. He liked the man. He’d lived with beans before that he ended up absolutely hating their guts, but Benrey had really grown on him.

Besides, there was something about the way that Benrey had frozen and stuttered when Gordon had gotten right up into his face. He must have been struggling with his predatory instincts, nervously restraining himself. It made Gordon feel almost powerful. He did that. To a being like that. 

The reckless part of Gordon wanted to push it. Really see Benrey squirm. That reckless part might have been boosted by the amount of non-flat soda he now had access to (normally poured into shot glasses and encouraged to chug, which was insane, since a shot glass was almost a barrel to him, portionally). 

The part of his brain that had been keeping him alive for his entire life hated every angle on that idea. But being sensible had gotten him a lonely but safe existence. And recklessness had given him a friend who laughed when he called him a jackass instead of trying to hunt him down and pull him out of his walls.

That was one of the benefits of befriending Benrey, Gordon supposed. The man was terrifying, irritating, and every bit as stubborn as himself, but he didn’t tend to ask probing questions. He hadn’t searched for his hideaways, or asked about other borrowers, or even asked what he called his own species. It was nice, in a stupid way. Any information was volunteered. Still against the rules, still dangerous as hell, but a controlled danger.

The only thing Berney pushed for was more of his time. 

It was like a switch had been flipped in the man. Like getting permission to hang out with him once meant he had to hang out with him all the time. Gone were the days when Benrey would ignore him as he went about his business. Now, looking for Gordon was the first thing he did when he got home from work. Gordon played with the idea of waiting him out, but it was kinda nice to have someone so excited to see him. 

So, they would watch movies, and Gordon would watch Benrey play video games, and they’d argue over which streamers to watch over dinner. Gordon would sit on the couch’s armrest and steal food off Benrey’s plate and relax more and more in his presence.

* * *

Benrey opened the door with a groan. Gordon was in the middle of a complicated maneuver that involved trying to slice a chunk of soap off with a shitty exacto blade and somehow getting soap chunk, blade, and himself out of the bathroom without slipping and eating shit. He was currently edging his way around the lip of the tub and trying not to knock anything over or step in anything gross.

“Over here!” he called out. 

Benrey shuffled over to the bathroom and opened the door. He raised an eyebrow. “stuck in the tub again?

“No,” lied Gordon. He shoved the soap under his sweater and held out the blade. “Hold this please?”

Benrey pinched the blade between two fingers and brought it to his face to examine. While he was distracted, Gordon flung himself off the side of the tub. He landed on all fours and cringed at the impact. He straightened up and flapped his hands a bit to try and lessen the sting. 

Gordon held out his hand. “Knife, please.”

Benrey handed it back. “bossy. you should work at black mesa. always asking for my help.”

Gordon stuck the blade on a loop on his pants and started jogging towards the door. Benrey let him get a headstart before following. “I’d be an excellent scientist.”

Benrey hummed in agreement. “better than most of those old geezers.” He headed towards the kitchen. “you want pretzels? i’m getting pretzels.”

Gordon headed to the couch and climbed up to his customary perch on the armrest. “Sure.”

Benrey returned with a half eaten bag. He handed Gordon one pretzel stick before sighing dramatically and shoving a fistful into his mouth.

Gordon winced sympathetically. “Bad day?”

Benrey swallowed the sharp half chewed bits like an animal. “just long. you know how those science boys are. constantly whining and asking for my help with their stupid little projects.”

Gordon felt a sense of growing dread, this time for Benrey instead of about Benrey, which was novel. Had he misjudged the situation? “I thought you were a guard? Do they- Do the scientists _test_ on you?”

He guffawed. “nah. i just work at the science, i don’t do it. mostly the old guys want a guard’s help pushing carts or carrying shit. its not part of my job though, so mostly i just walk away when they ask. i’m busy, man.”

“Every work story I’ve ever heard from you was about you wandering around talking to your friends or annoying people.”

“yeah, see. busy.” 

Gordon laughed and nibbled on his pretzel. “How in the world did something like you get a job at a highly secured research facility?” Gordon tried to keep his tone joking, but he was legitimately not getting it.

“oh, you know. i already had a button up, which is the hardest part of getting a job.”

Gordon laughed.

Benrey leaned towards him excitedly. He gestured with a free hand. The pretzel bag was knocked to the floor and seemingly forgotten about. “the easiest way to get a job is to already work there. so i just went to some administrator, hit ‘em with green, and told them they lost my employment records and they needed to remake ‘em. boom. job got.”

Gordon was appalled and impressed in equal measures. “You hypnotized an innocent person in order to make it look like you had already worked there?” Why in the world did you intentionally get a job in the place most likely to get you dissected, he didn’t ask. 

Benrey smacked his lips. “works like a charm. my paperwork is all in order, the security guards thought i was a transfer, and the scientists think i’m just some dumb guard.” He grinned, thin lipped and cruel. “or they think i’m someone else’s lab experiment playing at being security. a lab rat getting ‘human style enrichment.’” He enunciated the last phrase precisely and in a mocking tone. “everyone thinks i’m someone else’s problem. don’t question what’s under their own noses. think they’re too smart to get duped.”

Gordon shivered a little, but his smile was sharp and a little smug. How a facility full of scientists had overlooked or purposely ignored the predatory anomaly in their midst made him feel a bit better about himself. He had figured it out the first week Benrey moved in.

“not that bad, though. if you do your job, nobody cares what’s going on with you. and i got my friends to vouch for me. you know my friends?”

“I’ve heard _of_ your friends. Some of them are so loud, even on the phone. I can hear them in the walls sometimes.” Gordon laughed to himself. 

“they’re cool. you should meet them!” Benrey was talking fast and excited. “making friends with the whole science team like a pro. homies with the homies. homies with benefits.”

“Stop,” Gordon complained. He tilted his head to the side. Recklessness had gotten him this far… “I don’t see a way I could meet your friends without getting dissected. Look at me, dude.”

“they don’t dissect people.” Benrey hesitated. “tommy dissects things on thursdays, but other than that it's fine.” Another pause. “bubby might dissect you a little.”

“I don’t want to get dissected at all.” His tail flicked a bit anxiously. What in the world was he getting himself into? “What if… what if we don’t let them see me? Maybe just a phone call? And don’t tell them I’m-” He gestured to himself. “-pocket sized.”

Benrey snorted. “polly pocket.”

“I think- What if we said I was one of your gamer friends? If I sound small, it’s just the distortion from your headset.” Gordon was starting to get excited. He jumped up to pace. 

Benrey watched with a lazy focus. “could work.”

“This is a great idea!”

* * *

This was a stupid idea. Gordon didn’t know what had gotten into him. What was he even thinking?

He was pacing around Benrey’s coffee table. Benrey himself was messing around with his phone on the couch. After a few seconds, he called one of his friends and set the phone down on the table. 

“easy peasy.”

“This was a bad idea. _Why_ did I let you talk me into this?”

“it was funny.” Benrey paused and considered. “i think you talked yourself into this one, actually. i didn’t do nothing.”

Gordon opened his mouth to argue, but the phone call finally connected and cut him off.

“Hello? Benrey?” The voice on the phone was confused and distorted by the speakerphone. 

“TOMMY.” Benrey bellowed. 

Gordon tried to fold down his ears to protect himself from the sonic blast. “Dude!”

“Benrey?” Tommy sounded perplexed. “Why are you call- Who was that?”

Benrey leaned closer to the table so he could talk loudly into the phone. Gordon darted out of the way and gave him a baleful glare that he ignored. “that’s my good friend, gordon freeman. wanted you to meet him.”

“Hi, Tommy.” Gordon felt a bit off balance, but he knew how to introduce himself at least. Benrey made a ‘go on’ type gesture. “I’m Gordon?” 

Benrey gave him a thumbs up.

“Hi, Gordon!” Cheerful one. “Nice to meet you! Benrey said he made a friend, but I wasn’t sure if you were, uh. Another loose headcrab or something.”

Benrey cut in. “they were lost. i was escorting them.”

Gordon laughed. “What the fuck.”

“It was pretty funny. The first time.” Tommy agreed. “So! How did you meet Benrey?”

“I’m one of his gamer friends.” Gordon struggled to remember the name of any of Benrey’s games. “We play- We play Tetris together.” That was the block game right? It was definitely a game, at least.

“Benrey plays Tetris?” 

Shit.

“i don’t- you gotta have a pee-aetch-dee to play that actually. gotta be... doctor to do tetris with friends.”

Gordon resisted the urge to bite Benrey. Literally all he had to do was back him up, how hard was that! “You don’t have to have a Ph.D. to play Tetris. It’s just a game.”

“No, I think Benrey’s right.” God _damnit_. “You have to- most hardcore Tetrispeople have doctorates. I have two. :)”

“That’s, that’s nice, Tommy.”

“gordon has a- he’s a doctor. doctor of digging. in the trash. he’s a trash man.” Benrey blurted out. 

Gordon scowled at him. “I am _not._ ”

At the same time, Tommy cut in. “You’re an archaeologist? That’s so interesting, Dr. Freeman!”

Gordon blinked. “Uh. I’m not a doctor, seriously, but, uh.” This felt dangerously close to being against the rules, but lies were easy to keep if they were closer to the truth. Technicalities. What was the line between reckless and stupid? “Yeah, I do a little, uh. I’m more of a hobbyist. I like seeing how different sorts of people live.”

“he digs in my trash and he eats marbles. gargles em down.”

“ _Benrey._ I’m normal,” Gordon assured. 

“like a washing machine.” 

Tommy laughed at their antics. He sounded so nice. Gordon found himself smiling widely and glancing at Benrey. This was a good idea. 

“I’m glad that you made a friend, Benrey! Mr. Freeman, you seem like a good person.”

"we're homies," answered Benrey simply. 

"Hair braiding and sleepovers and all that," Gordon teased. "You know how it is, Tommy." Tommy was one of Benrey's friends, so he must do that sort of stuff, too. Obviously. 

There was a brief hesitation before Tommy responded. "Benrey wears his- His uniform has a helmet. Not much opportunity at work, I'm afraid."

Shit, wait. Touching _Benrey's_ hair? He hadn't done that. No reason why not. Gordon gestured silently for Benrey to lift him up and mimed petting his own head. 

Benrey obliged, leaning down to offer a cupped hand. He mouthed 'no ratatouille!' with furrowed brows. Gordon rolled his eyes and made grabby hands. He stepped into Benrey’s cupped hand and balanced carefully as the hand lifted into the air. He would be more stable if he got down on all fours, but that somehow felt more embarrassing. 

Benrey brought him to his shoulder. He stepped off and immediately grabbed a hank for inspection. Surprisingly soft, especially for someone who definitely used 5 in 1 shampoo. The crook of Benrey’s neck was warm and the view wasn’t anything to sneeze at. Gordon wrapped his hand around a handful of strands. He wasn’t sure what ‘ratatouille’ meant as a verb. Either it was climbing on his head or it was pulling his hair. Either way, he didn’t want to push it. He sat on Benrey’s shoulder and leaned back against his neck. This close, he could hear his pulse thrumming along.

He had completely lost track of the conversation, but he didn’t feel too bad about it. Benrey kept talking to Tommy. His low voice rumbled in his throat and hummed through Gordon. He curled up a little more and dug the claws on his feet into Benrey’s shirt to keep himself steady. His eyes got heavier and heavier. When was the last time he was this warm and safe? 

At some point, Benrey prompted him to say goodbye to Tommy, and Tommy asked a question that he mumbled an answer to, and after that he didn’t remember anything but the beat of Benrey’s heart and the thrum of his pulse.


End file.
